Intersection 26

When excitement and motivation meet...

Does excitement breed motivation? Or does motivation cause excitement? Well, whatever view you may believe in, I believe that your answer is correct. With the experiences I have encountered recently, I can say that excitement and motivation are intertwined partners. One cannot exist without the other. Being excited about something motivates you to achieve it. While being motivated to realize a goal keeps you excited about the future. The struggles may seem long and tiring, some may even make you want to give it all up, but there is a degree of determination that cannot be concealed by exhaustion. And this, I think, is caused by the excitement-motivation duo.

I have began my classes in Masters of Science in Psychology last week. I couldn't sleep prior to my first class in the graduate program because my mind was filled with uncertainties. I did not know what to expect, and this made me feel uneasy. I have this thing for predicting scenarios to make me somehow prepared of the possibilities, but entering the graduate program governed a wide spectrum of chances. I am still adjusting to the vibe of studying again, but I feel excited to learn. I am also motivated to finish my studies with flying colors.

Another event that will soon be inserted in my interesting schedule is an online shop that I, my sister and one of my closest friends have opened. There are plenty of online shops now, but we are hoping people will become interested in the clothes we will be selling. Though there is a profit involved, we are primarily thinking about lessening the content of our cabinets... to make way for new clothes.

With all things happening pretty quickly. I cannot seem to be grateful enough for all the opportunities I am involved in. There may be more roads and crossroads I may travel to reach the goals (which are constantly being revised) I have set, but I know I can make it. I am still burdened by moments of doubt and fear at times, but the will to look at a better perspective of situations push me out of the dark boxes.

I hope you find something exciting and something that will motivate you soon.

Until the next exciting thing,

Myra

(Credits to  janneblogt.files.wordpress.com for the photo)

Intersection 25

When silence and a realization meet...

Twenty minutes before my scheduled sleeping time, the urge of publishing an additional post to my blog keeps me attached to the computer. Anyway, I begin this post on a positive (yet quite hurried) note.

I have just started my second job. And I am happy to have an array of experiences ahead of me. I am nervous about fulfilling my responsibilities wonderfully, but I know He has given me this opportunity for me to become better in my craft. Everything that happened in the past led me to this.

In my first few days at work, I was often alone in the office since my mentor (the school's guidance counselor) has classes to attend to. Though I have the office to myself, I had no list of things to do yet. My mind wandered as I observed the new environment I will be a part of. I hummed songs and walked around, keeping myself away from boredom. Suddenly, I remembered a distant memory.

Back in my elementary days, I remembered how amazed I was of the colorful decorations of the guidance office's door. There were quotes and realistic drawings. There were drawings of cartoon characters too. I have always wanted to enter the guidance office to see how it looked like inside, but I feared the possible criticisms and teasing of my classmates who might see me enter. The guidance office was associated to punishment. Whenever a student is called to the guidance office (via a call slip), I remember the loud expressions of judgment that follow. Even if I have always wanted to go inside the guidance office, my fear of being seen dominated me. Another frustration I had before was that I was never called for a counseling session. I remember feeling a little jealous towards my classmates who go to the guidance office in the middle of the class. Not that I wanted to miss any lesson, but I have always wondered how it felt like to talk to a trustworthy stranger (which at that time I haven't entirely understood). Since I had no experience of being counselled, I then made a promise to myself that, when I grow up, I will help other people solve their problems.

Having reminisced about these moments in my past astonished me. I have not viewed the hardships and successes as a part of a grand plan. All I knew was that I was creating a name for myself. Things shall pass. Everything happens for a reason, I always tell myself. But I guess I haven't wholeheartedly believe in it. Until these memories sparked my optimism.

Now that some of the loose dots of my life are connected, I am grateful that He is showing me His plan. He is showing that things happen according to His time, and not mine. I may have temporarily forgotten the promises I have made for myself before, He understands everything that shall happen in my life. I may have little belief in the way things will work out at times, but that doesn't stop the world from spinning. My disappointment and frustrations do not halt the way life moves forward.

I hope you also remember something meaningful from your past.

Until the next realization,

Myra

(Credits to cdn.designhomes.pics for the photo)

Intersection 24

When the status quo meets annoyance...

Patience is a virtue, so most people express. I wonder what percentage of the people who openly say the famous quote actually believe in it. I also wonder if patience is subjective, if it is a matter of self-motivation and idea of how things must work out.

Waiting makes people reflect on a lot of things, but too much waiting exposes the animal-like tendencies of humans. We begin to feel the waste of energy, effort and time. We begin to draw possible maps of solution to aid our aching feet from standing (or our bottoms from sitting). We begin to question our intentions, pondering on how worthy the wait shall be. We may even put blame on external factors about our seemingly endless spatial stagnation.

I have had my fair share of experience with waiting in lines, just like most people do. As far as I know, I can be a war freak once dominated by high levels of agitation. Like other people, I have a strong tendency to question almost everything related to the situation that requires me to wait. I also shout (in my mind) questions of doubts, though there are times I want to shout my inquiries to the world. I have kept my fair share of anger and annoyance, believing that an outburst of emotion may be uncalled for. My remarks could lead to misunderstanding, something I avoid as much as I can. But what happens if we undergo a cycle of waiting? A cycle with possible solutions, yet are not made or even started. Can this type of situations still be considered as a call for patience? Or is it something that can be called unfair torture?

The strength of opinion sparks a move... Well, that is what I believe in. There are many people who share the same idea, but how far can this ideas go if not given a voice? How bad does a problem need to be in order for someone (or some people) finally listen to a common voice? Are grave consequences a required prelude to the entertainment of possible answers? Will the first step towards plan of change be made if the chaos is too tangled to even be fixed?

There is never a one-hundred percent guarantee attached to any plausible solution for a drastic change. There is also never a one-hundred percent guarantee of agreement among parties. Even with these facts, is it not worth taking the risk of improving the status quo? Is it but proper to consider the equality of worth of the time and effort of all parties involved? Is it also but proper to guarantee a worthwhile experience of paid services?

This post reflects my assertive side, eyeing on the unconventional ideas out there. This post dances on the subtlety and gravity of the status quo and its effects. This post removes the blindfold of believing that change will come, even without action.

I hope you find an interesting status quo to reflect on.

Until the next unconventional thought,

Myra

(Credits to linelogic.com for the photo)

Intersection 23

When a reunion and reminiscence meet....

Yesterday was an amazing commemoration of bonds formed around eight years ago. One of my first year high school classmate and friend, came to the Philippines for a short vacation. She left for the United States in the middle of our first school year in high school (as far as I remember), and I haven't seen her since. Well, not until yesterday that is.

Around fourteen of my previous classmates came for the get-together. I didn't have expectations in mind, but I felt excited about seeing my batch mates. I looked forward to hearing stories about how we have changed and what careers were we working on. Though I had a few things I would like to share, I was more curious about how these people dealt with life in general. Maybe my psychological radar was strongly stimulated by the pending conversations.

Despite having less than half of our entire class present, the atmosphere brought about our auras and personalities highlighted every place we have been. From a milk tea place, to a famous pizza chain and finally to a packed bar, our voices and laughter filled these places as if we were regular customers or even the owners of the businesses. What made the entire experience more memorable was that I got to spend more time with my best friend. She planned not to attend the reunion, but circumstances have placed us in the same milk tea shop at the perfect time.

Looking back on how the afternoon (and night) went, I feel amazed by how we have come together. As classmates and friends, we have seen each other's first encounters with puberty. These are the people who were involved in teenage issues, heightened emotions, rebellion tendencies and other chaotic situations. These are the people who, even if time and distance may have temporarily separated us, decided to create a new set of precious memories.

Though time seemed to travel like light, I was amused by how the present characteristics of these classmates of mine seem to be a rewind of my first months in high school. In the reminiscence of a few high school memories, our laughter and reactions gave life to the perspectives of how we remembered. We grew older, but our spirits remained youthful. The levels of maturity within the group also got me really interested, priming my attention towards subtle cues and body language. Realizing I was not supposed to be extracting every bit of information I can, I switched my over-analyzing radars to a pause. With everything happening in a breeze-like manner, I feel grateful that He blessed me to have such experiences. And I will be patiently looking forward to other amazing reunions.

I hope you have heartwarming reminiscence soon.

Until the next reunion,

Myra

(Credits to reunionclass.com for the photo)

Intersection 22

When the holiday season and reflection meet...

Recently, I have been more sensitive and irritable. I am unsure if these things are brought about my increasing comfort with doing less things than usual or if it is because I have too many plans I don't really know how to work with. With the atmosphere of the holiday season fading, my mind feels slightly heavy with more thoughts about the new year.

I am about to embark on a journey of having work and studies at the same time. And though I am excited about having plenty of servings on my plate, I can't help but doubt my capacity to juggle responsibilities. Two months passed by faster than I imagined, leaving me with moments of laziness and self-doubt, happiness and hope. The degrees of the emotional roller coaster gave me shivers and made me want to scream at the top of my lungs at times.

With all the overwhelming sensations of having to deal with myself and the world around me, I am still stunned about how I understand the motions, subtle or made, of interactions along the universe I recognize. I remain in awe at how different tones and words, spoken or silenced, register in my mind. I am yet to learn more things from future days.

I have also thought about the possibilities of dissolving relationships. I realize that I am too afraid to make mistakes, afraid that a small hint of my stubbornness or carelessness can lead me to losing people I deeply cherish. I realize that though I try my best to protect the connections I have with these people, there is still that percentage that the other party may choose to cut the strings. There is still the percentage of the strings to wear off in time. And the idea of the absence of these strings scare me. These things prove my preference about having little misunderstandings in a span of time than having one major issue that can possibly break all ties,

Maybe this is how I will learn more about life in general. I have lessened the way I expect the world to work in terms that prove to primarily benefit me, but there are always repercussions. Everything cannot be handed to us at the same time. Maybe this time is meant for me to figure out who I really am. Maybe this is the time when I need to experience losing relationships for me to learn how to bend the rules I have established, if ever I really can.

I have more thoughts I can share, but this post is long enough already. I hope you have a good reflection soon too.

Until the next holiday-like elation,

Myra

(Credits to finerminds.com for the photo)

Intersection 21

When a conversation and excitement meet...

I am ecstatic to have opportunities to meet people from various places. I am interested in having conversations with people who have been exposed to different cultures. I am grateful for features of social networking sites that allow friends from two different countries to go beyond the typical chat room to connect.

Yesterday, I got the chance to have a ten minute call to an Indonesian friend of mine. Thanks to a social networking site we have learned from the Korean group we both massively like.

I did not know how to greet. All I remember is my hear thumping loudly as I heard her say the first hello. It has been more than a year since our first conversation in Facebook, and hearing her voice seemed to be too far from a realistic situation. We have shared a common dream of meeting in the near future, probably attending a concert of Big Bang (the Korean group I mentioned in the earlier paragraph). We are currently administrators of a fan page dedicated to update co-VIPs (name of Big Bang's fandom) about the talented and loved group, which has given more reasons to keep our friendship.

Our short conversation was more than what I could ask for. Though there were a few seconds of interruption, due to unstable internet connection, we managed to speak comfortably. I felt like talking to someone I have known for a good number of years. There was no awkward silences, something I strongly feared before. I felt no hesitation, confiding one of my fears. I also liked the distinct accent of her tone. She said it was probably because she was not well experienced in speaking English, but I disagreed. I am a bit certain I could recognize her voice when we meet in person someday.

My happiness about our conversation spilled through this day. Though I am still in a level of disbelief, about finally having a conversation with an online friend, I am certain she's included in the list of people I would love to have a lifetime of friendship with. I do hope she feels the same.

********
To my friend:

For through these veins,
My life is passing,
My life is starting and coursing.
With an end indefinite,
With an end unclear,
I watch the beat on my wrist.
I am awake.
And ahead of me is a wonderful journey.

*******

I hope you have an exciting conversation with a person from another country too.

Until the next excitement,

Myra

(Credits to 1001callingcards.com for the photo)

Intersection 20

When an occasion meets guilt...

Time check: 12:27 am of December 26, 2014... the day after Christmas. The celebration spent with family and friends. And with festive mood and warm hearts come food -  which primarily motivates this post.

I find myself alternating between feelings of satisfaction, joy and guilt as I try to control my eating sessions during the holidays. I ought to have fun, enjoying myself among the company of people around me, but I can't help but think about how to lose the pounds after all these food fests have passed.

A problem I am certain most people will be frustrated about in the beginning of 2015.

Though a side of me rationalizes why it's okay for me to give in to eating food I can eat, there is still that voice who scolds me and instantly tries to compute the calories I will be transmitting to my digestive system once I set my eyes on a slice of cake or a half-serving of pasta or rice. And even if I try my best to satisfy my craving for certain food, I still feel guilty of even considering the idea of eating something just because I want to.

I guess this makes for an interesting variety in the human mind. We can contradict ourselves in an instant. When we think we can push through with an action, something pulls us back. When we are almost certain about deciding on something, an idea tries to negate what we are choose. Taking these into account, the opposing forces we subconsciously entertain create a level of tension in us. Maybe this strongly affects how confident we are. Maybe this affects how we deal with people. Maybe this affects how we perceive the world.

The natural tendencies to agree or disagree with ourselves somehow lead to a creation of deciding personas - protagonist and antagonist. I just thought of this as I am typing these words. Everyone has these types of deciding personas. And it is up to us which persona will win in any given situation. Will we choose the one who boosts our confidence, supporting the positive effects of the choice? Or will we choose the one who gives us a heads-up, cautious and alert about the negative effects of a choice? Well, I shall be subjected to push-pull battle of my personas as I gear myself up for rounds of eating in the next few days. And I am hoping I will make the right choices.

I hope you understand your deciding personas as well.

Until the next occasion,

Myra

(Credits to harbour-plaza.com for the photo)