Intersection 32

When disbelief and a rebellious attitude meet....

When someone has an opportunity to affect lives, isn't it a wasted chance if he or she manipulates the situation to inflict torture to young minds? I feel frustrated having to deal with the thoughts that something I cherish and want to promote is to remain a bad memory to other people just because of wrong choices of the ones in 'power'. I understand man's need for authority, the need to be looked up to. I understand man's need for success, the need for titles and recognition from esteemed bodies and parties of specific careers. I understand man's need for individuality, the need to be unique among the millions of Homo Sapiens Sapiens walking on this planet. What I do not understand is the sadistic need of some people to inflict suffering - subtle or obvious - upon their co-humans. I do not understand why there are people who would adore bathing in the expressions of torture they see from others. I do not understand how some people can appear to be compassionate and empathetic, when their horns cannot actually compare to their invisible halos.

I just feel rebellious.

While I am in utter disbelief about how my mind is processing the senseless logic of some people, I am hoping to see the brighter side of these situations. I have high hopes for humanity, not only in the optimistic views that most people can quickly associate to it. Cliche as it may sound, anyone can be an instrument of change. But having stated the most recent sentence, my mind brings me back to how some people just choose to make sour (or bitter) wounds out of supposedly good memories. I can't put in order the debating sides in my head.

Just as I have decided to write about this, I feel apologetic to the youth who become more exposed to emotional (and mental) roller coasters just because older (and supposedly wiser) people believe they have the entire right to 'feed' the youth with lessons. These people do not feed the youth. They are choking the youth. High levels of potential and creativity are suppressed (and sometimes eventually die), drowning in the 'glory' of the mentors they have been taught to acknowledge. How frustrating is it to merely know this? How bad shall it get for other people to realize the dangers of this authority-minority conflict? To what extent shall we allow this conflict to happen? For me, I write this note to expose my determination to stop this kind of conflict. I write this note as I aim to minimize the damages to the youth's power.

I hope you realize something you strongly believe in, and decide to fight for it.

Until the next disbelief,
Myra

(Credits to clipartfinder.com for the photo)

Intersection 31

When determination and convention meet...

Change is the only thing permanent in the world. While I am strongly attached to the previous sentence, I find myself facing the difficulty of presenting change to the people around me. There is a fine line between looking like a 'know-it-all' and expressing a potentially good idea for the betterment of the status quo, and I cannot entirely dare to make a bold move now.

What a shame.

Not that I cannot stand by my decision (if ever) to begin change, but there are a lot of factors I ought to consider (and reconsider) if ever I do decide to make my foot take a step forward. I guess there are things that are very much intertwined with convention, including the insinuating close-mindedness of beings. Age ideally earns wisdom, which is not always the case. I do have a certain respect for people who have a good number of years on their shoulders already, but I cringe at the fact that potentials are lost because of how other people perceive a situation. Experience ought to make us better ... certainly not bitter.

I have a long way to go, whether it be in my career, in my personal life, in the improvement of my belief systems and eventually my character. Many people will have to be a part (and depart) from my life for me to learn certain things. Many situations will test me to bend rules or my convictions. Many things will aim to try to affect me in ways I have never imagined. Many more strikes will life give me before I can define how determined I can really be.

Convention and change. Two words wrestling in my mind at the moment. They probably can never see each other in the eye, but is it possible for them to compromise? Can I ever understand the balance of both in the choice I ought to make? Must I sacrifice my need to change the status quo just because convention makes things easier? Or can I rock the boat of convention to allow the water-like change to flow into convention's holes?

I hope you find something conventional to challenge.

Until the next determined move,
Myra

(The photo is mine :) )

Intersection 30

When an unexpected situation and hyperactivity meet...

Today, I have experienced being a substitute adviser of a Grade 1 class - a very overwhelming experience I don't know how to begin talking about.

Meeting 20 children at once is something I have not anticipated recently. I am fond of dealing with children, but being a class adviser seemed to be too far out against my interest. I know children are hyperactive and playing is one of their primary activities, but watching almost everyone in class attend to a different thing or game made me want to get out of the classroom. But I didn't.

The children I have dealt with today proved my adoration for children. They may be too chaotic often. They spill their drinks or are clumsy with their things. They may tease each other with sometimes senseless words (or jokes), but then they eventually play with each other after a few minutes. They may accidentally (sometimes intentionally) hit their classmates, but they will be interested in a game or a toy. Children are cute packages of contradictions. Some pupils randomly gave me a hug or told me I'm kind, even if I've raised the tone of my voice to get their attention. Some pupils do not need supervision while they are copying notes while others constantly update me about what word they're currently writing down. The entire day was definitely full of these kinds of things - happening almost at the same time.

*sigh* I still feel too active for my own good right now. Though I didn't have my recess and only spent five minutes for lunch, today has been packed with lessons I cannot learn in school. My respect for teachers has increased so much, that I would want to give every teacher I ever had a Thank You note (and a day-off for them to pamper themselves). I didn't even notice that I stood for hours straight, consciously checking on every child in class. What an example of sacrifice teachers truly make!

Having written a post about being a teacher, I feel proud about giving it a shot. I now know that I can handle a class of children. but I have plenty of things to work on. I missed the guidance office in that short span of time, and I can't imagine myself being an official class adviser anytime soon. Well, let's see how things will unfold.

I hope you find an unexpected situation you can be hyperactive about.

Until the next situation,

Myra

(Credits to clipartpanda.com for the photo)

Intersection 29

When an idea and courage meet...

I haven't written any plot for a potential story or novel for a long time now, though I have finished writing a novel (I believe it is a novel since I reached more than 200 pages of it in Microsoft Publisher) last year. It was a story that took me two years to accomplish. I have posted a few chapters on some websites for readers, but I haven't gotten much feedback. Some of my friends have also read the initial drafts of the story. The story follows the complications of teenage life, and I am unsure if I gave justice to the original idea behind the novel.

And after more than two years of waiting (and feeling scared) of a big idea, I have decided to push myself to finish a new novel. A novel that I shall post via Wattpad. I understand the risk of being ignored and the risk of not having feedback for a long time, but I am ready for everything. I do picture this upcoming story of mine to make some people interested, but I will not expect. I will post chapters of the story as if I'm doing my blog - at my own pace, and at the right time.

The story's plot came to me at an unexpected time. And because I didn't want to jinx the story, I haven't given anyone a clue about what it will be all about. Writing this story will be  a challenge for me, but it is a challenge I will joyfully undergo. The journey of making the ideas come to life is exciting. This move will not be a make or break one for me, but it will surely determine how I will work about it in the future. I have many plans to publish books soon, someday and in the far future. I have the goal to establish my name in libraries and bookshelves.

And everything continues with this story.

I hope you do have the courage to make an idea a reality.

Until the next courageous move,

Myra

(Credits to scriptmag.com for the photo)

Intersection 28

When a marked date and impulse meet...

First of all, I want to greet you a Happy Valentines Day! I hope you had an amazing time with your special someone, with your family or friends, maybe even some quality time for yourself.  I currently do not have a special someone to celebrate Valentines Day as a partner, but this does not mean that I feel less happy. Though I am curious about how it will feel to celebrate February 14 with a romantic partner, I am in no hurry for that experience. I have my family and friends to celebrate it with at the moment.

I spent the first half of the day at work. There was not much things to do, but I felt excited because I received my weekly salary (something I was not expecting). Having realized that today was a marked day in the calendar, I immediately thought about a possible surprise I can give to my family. So I decided to buy a heart-shaped blueberry cheesecake - the first time I will do something unexpected during Valentines day. The idea of bringing smiles to my family's faces made me giddy. I would have been primarily bothered by the price of the cake in ordinary circumstances, but I guess the strong, loving vibe of this day encouraged my impulse. And I do not have any regrets about it.

Along with the acceptance of my tendency to act upon impulse, I realized that there is something positive we can get when we just go with what we feel like or what we think in a moment. I guess this is why I have a special appreciation and amazement for unique and sincere surprises. There is something very special about the heartwarming intentions and actions of anyone who would be brave and willful enough to push through with surprises to create precious memories for the recipient/s. The thrill of keeping things a secret for a certain time, then revealing everything at the right moment is an exhilaration I would love to remake anytime.

Even with the possible jitters and excitement one can feel, there are also some people who are not fond of surprises. They prefer having a clue about what will happen or what they're missing. Maybe they need to have a sense of control in every situation for them to feel at ease. I do understand why some people feel this way, but I always wonder how their perception might change. And if I meet someone who dislikes surprises, I would probably try my best to change his/her idea about it.

Well, this post is quite long enough so I will stop here. I hope you find someone whom you will surprise because of a good impulse.

Until the next date,

Myra

(Credits to http://data3.whicdn.com/images/34522870/original.jpg for the photo)

Intersection 27

When a song and reminiscence meet...

In my new job, majority of the people around me are younger than me. From preschool, elementary and high school students, I feel amazed at how I can easily observe the differences of their generation from mine. Ah... I often feel too old when I mentally take note of the changes I see. Anyway, I shall save my reflections on the comparisons and contrasts for another post (or two).

Today, I was filled with enthusiasm and an overwhelming sense of glee as I heard the students sang one of the famous themes of the High School Musical entitled Everyday. As far as I remember (and I hope I am right), this was the song showcased during the graduation of the characters in the movie-series. I smiled at myself, thinking about how real my attachment to the movie-series is. I couldn't even believe myself for singing along to about two-thirds of the song the very first time the students tried singing it. My sentimental persona was exposed because of this. I don't regret it though.

Memories of my high school years passed as if they happened decades ago. I don't know if I was just too focused on my idea about how old I think I am, but the rush of emotions led me to replay the mini movies of my life. Seeing the people present in these mini-movies revealed a sense of curiosity in me. I thought about how they were doing now. Were most of them working? I know some of my high school batch mates were still finishing college, but I hoped they would graduate as soon as they can. Will I ever meet everyone again? Maybe in random cafes, or in random strolls in the mall or parks. Maybe we will even be colleagues or business partners. Maybe they have thought of our mini-movies too. Maybe they have forgotten about it.

While I bought myself back to the present moment, I knew there were some things that happen just because they paved way for new insights. The life-filled memories keep us connected to ourselves and to other people. In ways we sometimes do not mind, small details of our current lives try to bring us back to what has happened. The things we have regarded as random until we have noticed them, like songs, become signs of the glee we thought as contentment, the pain we thought as enduring, the surprise we thought was unbearable. And however we perceive these details, or the memories that come along with them, there will always come times that we give ourselves a smile.

I hope you hear a song that will remind you of something (or someone).

Until the next reminiscence,

Myra

(Credits to academichelp.net for the photo)

Intersection 26

When excitement and motivation meet...

Does excitement breed motivation? Or does motivation cause excitement? Well, whatever view you may believe in, I believe that your answer is correct. With the experiences I have encountered recently, I can say that excitement and motivation are intertwined partners. One cannot exist without the other. Being excited about something motivates you to achieve it. While being motivated to realize a goal keeps you excited about the future. The struggles may seem long and tiring, some may even make you want to give it all up, but there is a degree of determination that cannot be concealed by exhaustion. And this, I think, is caused by the excitement-motivation duo.

I have began my classes in Masters of Science in Psychology last week. I couldn't sleep prior to my first class in the graduate program because my mind was filled with uncertainties. I did not know what to expect, and this made me feel uneasy. I have this thing for predicting scenarios to make me somehow prepared of the possibilities, but entering the graduate program governed a wide spectrum of chances. I am still adjusting to the vibe of studying again, but I feel excited to learn. I am also motivated to finish my studies with flying colors.

Another event that will soon be inserted in my interesting schedule is an online shop that I, my sister and one of my closest friends have opened. There are plenty of online shops now, but we are hoping people will become interested in the clothes we will be selling. Though there is a profit involved, we are primarily thinking about lessening the content of our cabinets... to make way for new clothes.

With all things happening pretty quickly. I cannot seem to be grateful enough for all the opportunities I am involved in. There may be more roads and crossroads I may travel to reach the goals (which are constantly being revised) I have set, but I know I can make it. I am still burdened by moments of doubt and fear at times, but the will to look at a better perspective of situations push me out of the dark boxes.

I hope you find something exciting and something that will motivate you soon.

Until the next exciting thing,

Myra

(Credits to  janneblogt.files.wordpress.com for the photo)

Intersection 25

When silence and a realization meet...

Twenty minutes before my scheduled sleeping time, the urge of publishing an additional post to my blog keeps me attached to the computer. Anyway, I begin this post on a positive (yet quite hurried) note.

I have just started my second job. And I am happy to have an array of experiences ahead of me. I am nervous about fulfilling my responsibilities wonderfully, but I know He has given me this opportunity for me to become better in my craft. Everything that happened in the past led me to this.

In my first few days at work, I was often alone in the office since my mentor (the school's guidance counselor) has classes to attend to. Though I have the office to myself, I had no list of things to do yet. My mind wandered as I observed the new environment I will be a part of. I hummed songs and walked around, keeping myself away from boredom. Suddenly, I remembered a distant memory.

Back in my elementary days, I remembered how amazed I was of the colorful decorations of the guidance office's door. There were quotes and realistic drawings. There were drawings of cartoon characters too. I have always wanted to enter the guidance office to see how it looked like inside, but I feared the possible criticisms and teasing of my classmates who might see me enter. The guidance office was associated to punishment. Whenever a student is called to the guidance office (via a call slip), I remember the loud expressions of judgment that follow. Even if I have always wanted to go inside the guidance office, my fear of being seen dominated me. Another frustration I had before was that I was never called for a counseling session. I remember feeling a little jealous towards my classmates who go to the guidance office in the middle of the class. Not that I wanted to miss any lesson, but I have always wondered how it felt like to talk to a trustworthy stranger (which at that time I haven't entirely understood). Since I had no experience of being counselled, I then made a promise to myself that, when I grow up, I will help other people solve their problems.

Having reminisced about these moments in my past astonished me. I have not viewed the hardships and successes as a part of a grand plan. All I knew was that I was creating a name for myself. Things shall pass. Everything happens for a reason, I always tell myself. But I guess I haven't wholeheartedly believe in it. Until these memories sparked my optimism.

Now that some of the loose dots of my life are connected, I am grateful that He is showing me His plan. He is showing that things happen according to His time, and not mine. I may have temporarily forgotten the promises I have made for myself before, He understands everything that shall happen in my life. I may have little belief in the way things will work out at times, but that doesn't stop the world from spinning. My disappointment and frustrations do not halt the way life moves forward.

I hope you also remember something meaningful from your past.

Until the next realization,

Myra

(Credits to cdn.designhomes.pics for the photo)

Intersection 24

When the status quo meets annoyance...

Patience is a virtue, so most people express. I wonder what percentage of the people who openly say the famous quote actually believe in it. I also wonder if patience is subjective, if it is a matter of self-motivation and idea of how things must work out.

Waiting makes people reflect on a lot of things, but too much waiting exposes the animal-like tendencies of humans. We begin to feel the waste of energy, effort and time. We begin to draw possible maps of solution to aid our aching feet from standing (or our bottoms from sitting). We begin to question our intentions, pondering on how worthy the wait shall be. We may even put blame on external factors about our seemingly endless spatial stagnation.

I have had my fair share of experience with waiting in lines, just like most people do. As far as I know, I can be a war freak once dominated by high levels of agitation. Like other people, I have a strong tendency to question almost everything related to the situation that requires me to wait. I also shout (in my mind) questions of doubts, though there are times I want to shout my inquiries to the world. I have kept my fair share of anger and annoyance, believing that an outburst of emotion may be uncalled for. My remarks could lead to misunderstanding, something I avoid as much as I can. But what happens if we undergo a cycle of waiting? A cycle with possible solutions, yet are not made or even started. Can this type of situations still be considered as a call for patience? Or is it something that can be called unfair torture?

The strength of opinion sparks a move... Well, that is what I believe in. There are many people who share the same idea, but how far can this ideas go if not given a voice? How bad does a problem need to be in order for someone (or some people) finally listen to a common voice? Are grave consequences a required prelude to the entertainment of possible answers? Will the first step towards plan of change be made if the chaos is too tangled to even be fixed?

There is never a one-hundred percent guarantee attached to any plausible solution for a drastic change. There is also never a one-hundred percent guarantee of agreement among parties. Even with these facts, is it not worth taking the risk of improving the status quo? Is it but proper to consider the equality of worth of the time and effort of all parties involved? Is it also but proper to guarantee a worthwhile experience of paid services?

This post reflects my assertive side, eyeing on the unconventional ideas out there. This post dances on the subtlety and gravity of the status quo and its effects. This post removes the blindfold of believing that change will come, even without action.

I hope you find an interesting status quo to reflect on.

Until the next unconventional thought,

Myra

(Credits to linelogic.com for the photo)

Intersection 23

When a reunion and reminiscence meet....

Yesterday was an amazing commemoration of bonds formed around eight years ago. One of my first year high school classmate and friend, came to the Philippines for a short vacation. She left for the United States in the middle of our first school year in high school (as far as I remember), and I haven't seen her since. Well, not until yesterday that is.

Around fourteen of my previous classmates came for the get-together. I didn't have expectations in mind, but I felt excited about seeing my batch mates. I looked forward to hearing stories about how we have changed and what careers were we working on. Though I had a few things I would like to share, I was more curious about how these people dealt with life in general. Maybe my psychological radar was strongly stimulated by the pending conversations.

Despite having less than half of our entire class present, the atmosphere brought about our auras and personalities highlighted every place we have been. From a milk tea place, to a famous pizza chain and finally to a packed bar, our voices and laughter filled these places as if we were regular customers or even the owners of the businesses. What made the entire experience more memorable was that I got to spend more time with my best friend. She planned not to attend the reunion, but circumstances have placed us in the same milk tea shop at the perfect time.

Looking back on how the afternoon (and night) went, I feel amazed by how we have come together. As classmates and friends, we have seen each other's first encounters with puberty. These are the people who were involved in teenage issues, heightened emotions, rebellion tendencies and other chaotic situations. These are the people who, even if time and distance may have temporarily separated us, decided to create a new set of precious memories.

Though time seemed to travel like light, I was amused by how the present characteristics of these classmates of mine seem to be a rewind of my first months in high school. In the reminiscence of a few high school memories, our laughter and reactions gave life to the perspectives of how we remembered. We grew older, but our spirits remained youthful. The levels of maturity within the group also got me really interested, priming my attention towards subtle cues and body language. Realizing I was not supposed to be extracting every bit of information I can, I switched my over-analyzing radars to a pause. With everything happening in a breeze-like manner, I feel grateful that He blessed me to have such experiences. And I will be patiently looking forward to other amazing reunions.

I hope you have heartwarming reminiscence soon.

Until the next reunion,

Myra

(Credits to reunionclass.com for the photo)

Intersection 22

When the holiday season and reflection meet...

Recently, I have been more sensitive and irritable. I am unsure if these things are brought about my increasing comfort with doing less things than usual or if it is because I have too many plans I don't really know how to work with. With the atmosphere of the holiday season fading, my mind feels slightly heavy with more thoughts about the new year.

I am about to embark on a journey of having work and studies at the same time. And though I am excited about having plenty of servings on my plate, I can't help but doubt my capacity to juggle responsibilities. Two months passed by faster than I imagined, leaving me with moments of laziness and self-doubt, happiness and hope. The degrees of the emotional roller coaster gave me shivers and made me want to scream at the top of my lungs at times.

With all the overwhelming sensations of having to deal with myself and the world around me, I am still stunned about how I understand the motions, subtle or made, of interactions along the universe I recognize. I remain in awe at how different tones and words, spoken or silenced, register in my mind. I am yet to learn more things from future days.

I have also thought about the possibilities of dissolving relationships. I realize that I am too afraid to make mistakes, afraid that a small hint of my stubbornness or carelessness can lead me to losing people I deeply cherish. I realize that though I try my best to protect the connections I have with these people, there is still that percentage that the other party may choose to cut the strings. There is still the percentage of the strings to wear off in time. And the idea of the absence of these strings scare me. These things prove my preference about having little misunderstandings in a span of time than having one major issue that can possibly break all ties,

Maybe this is how I will learn more about life in general. I have lessened the way I expect the world to work in terms that prove to primarily benefit me, but there are always repercussions. Everything cannot be handed to us at the same time. Maybe this time is meant for me to figure out who I really am. Maybe this is the time when I need to experience losing relationships for me to learn how to bend the rules I have established, if ever I really can.

I have more thoughts I can share, but this post is long enough already. I hope you have a good reflection soon too.

Until the next holiday-like elation,

Myra

(Credits to finerminds.com for the photo)