More than one year after my last note, and I have lesser expectations than usual. Who was the last person who read any of my notes. Were any of my words somehow comforting for someone out there? Were any of my words inspiring enough to help someone out there? Were my words sufficient enough to fulfill their purpose?
I have no idea, and I am unexpectedly calm about it.
One year. A lot has changed in one year. Thoughts, behavior, words. They all have added a few dimensions to them. Memories. Most of my current ones are focused on things that make me smile. Of things that make me believe I can do better, and not bitter. Of things that I can be proud of.
Close by Nick Jonas and Tove Lo is playing in the background. The song sounds better with a nice cup of tea. What have I decided to write about? Impulse and disbelief. Some things are not meant to happen according to your schedule. Surprises are the trademark of life. Surprises catch you off guard. They attempt to prove your values, and test how you will go along with the flow or remain stubborn.
Sometimes, surprises just leave your mouth shut and your mind jumbled.
When an impulse of doing something you may regret is stronger than the fear of possible regret, your mind calls for a roller-coaster like celebration... like an exhilarating jump from a cliff. Probably, like a sudden dip in freezing water then allowing the sun to heat your skin. Ironies. Life is full of ironies. My words seem to be following no pattern now, but they somehow make sense to me. These words somehow explain the thoughts that I did not allow myself to be bothered with. These words attempt to clarify my self-doubt about possibilities, and about things that may come sooner or later.
I'll end this note with a vagueness.
Until the next impulse,
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