Intersection 4

When waiting and assurance meet...

I met with one of my closest friends today. Our meeting was scheduled at 2 pm, but ended up seeing each other at past 3 pm. We shared a silent hug. Words were not necessary for a few seconds. The hug defined the words "I missed you", in the most honest way possible. As natural as how real friendships go, we began our conversation with smiles. Though we have shared numerous stories, we still have not mentioned everything we wanted to say. When we were exchanging text messages prior to our first meeting in two months, our messages flew like there was no tomorrow. But when we finally met, those stories seemed to suddenly turn into bubbles, vanishing with their own emotion and perspective.

Despite the seemingly lacking number of stories, we still had an amazing time walking inside a mall. We probably have paced on a few floors for about 5 times, but we did not mind. Our feet kept us in sync with the crowd even if our minds were not focused on the Saturday vibe. We also spent more than an hour in a milk tea shop. I felt quite guilty about it since we ended up in the shop because of my ardent preference for milk tea.

With many of my recent experiences shaking my perspectives and beliefs, I realized that I have changed. I guess I have been  reluctant to admit this to myself (and even to the people I care about), but talking to my friend made me conscious about how I acted around her. I fidgeted and avoided aye contact. My hand gestures subconsciously aimed to cover my face. I only mention new topics when I know she had nothing to add to her recent story. I rarely asked questions in our conversations (which is something highly unlikely to me before). 

Basically, if I would be observed by an outsider,  I may seem like I was unconnected and uninterested in the conversation.

My friend noticed how 'disengaged' I appeared and assured me that she understood me. I felt disappointed with how I was ruining the excitement of our meeting. I knew the reason (or reasons) as to why I was acting that way, but I could not explain them. Maybe I choose not to explain them because if I do, things will seem very drastic for me. 

And I wasn't sure how I'll react to the perspective of another radical situation.

We didn't dwell on my difficulty of expression. She just told me that I'll be better - no matter how long of a time I needed to achieve it. 

With her words, I realized an interesting connection between waiting and assurance. Generally, waiting makes a number of people impatient. We tend to measure years as days, days as hours or hours as seconds. We have the tendency to blame the other person or become defensive when we do not act upon schedules. But with assurance, whatever form this may be, we become more open to possibilities. We then view waiting as a temporary state, as something that shall (and not can) pass. Assurance provides us the hope that our path will coincide with the something (or someone) we are (or have been) waiting for. The mere idea of guarantee strongly affects our perspective about waiting.

I hope we have the chance and choice to grant ourselves assurance. I also hope that your path soon intersects with that something (or that someone) you have waited for.

Until the next assurance.

Myra

(Credit to LinkedIn.com for the photo)