When an occasion meets guilt...
Time check: 12:27 am of December 26, 2014... the day after Christmas. The celebration spent with family and friends. And with festive mood and warm hearts come food - which primarily motivates this post.
I find myself alternating between feelings of satisfaction, joy and guilt as I try to control my eating sessions during the holidays. I ought to have fun, enjoying myself among the company of people around me, but I can't help but think about how to lose the pounds after all these food fests have passed.
A problem I am certain most people will be frustrated about in the beginning of 2015.
Though a side of me rationalizes why it's okay for me to give in to eating food I can eat, there is still that voice who scolds me and instantly tries to compute the calories I will be transmitting to my digestive system once I set my eyes on a slice of cake or a half-serving of pasta or rice. And even if I try my best to satisfy my craving for certain food, I still feel guilty of even considering the idea of eating something just because I want to.
I guess this makes for an interesting variety in the human mind. We can contradict ourselves in an instant. When we think we can push through with an action, something pulls us back. When we are almost certain about deciding on something, an idea tries to negate what we are choose. Taking these into account, the opposing forces we subconsciously entertain create a level of tension in us. Maybe this strongly affects how confident we are. Maybe this affects how we deal with people. Maybe this affects how we perceive the world.
The natural tendencies to agree or disagree with ourselves somehow lead to a creation of deciding personas - protagonist and antagonist. I just thought of this as I am typing these words. Everyone has these types of deciding personas. And it is up to us which persona will win in any given situation. Will we choose the one who boosts our confidence, supporting the positive effects of the choice? Or will we choose the one who gives us a heads-up, cautious and alert about the negative effects of a choice? Well, I shall be subjected to push-pull battle of my personas as I gear myself up for rounds of eating in the next few days. And I am hoping I will make the right choices.
I hope you understand your deciding personas as well.
Until the next occasion,
Myra
(Credits to harbour-plaza.com for the photo)
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